Showing posts from April, 2016

Backlogged - "Dead to Rights" (2002)

(I own hundreds of video games and haven't even touched a lot of them. Backlogged is where I fix that.)

So this week, Bandai-Namco's Dark Souls III came out. Praise the sun! Git gud! Sunny D! Other memes, including skeletons, Wingus and Dingus, and Large Father!

But before I dive headfirst into bad framerates and countless deaths, I figured it could be a good idea to revisit a past Namco game about dying. Well. It's not really about dying, actually. It just has "dead" in the title.

Dead to Rights, ladies and gents.

Sonic Jam - "The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog"

In spirit of the little blue fast fucker himself, I'm gonna cut to the chase.

The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog may be the worst piece of Sonic media out there. Think about that for a second. The absolute worst, in a series notorious for being filled to the brim with premium, grade-A garbage-y garbage. But rummage around this nonsense dumpster enough, and you'll find nothing worth salvaging. So of course, I'm doing it for you. Because that's what I do here: dumpster dive in the name of your entertainment. You're welcome.

Backlogged - "Rumble Roses" (2004)

(I own hundreds of video games, but haven't played most of them. Backlogged is a series where I fix that.) 

I've been getting into WWE lately. Like, really into it. Like, "took the full plunge and subscribed to the WWE Network" kind of into it. Historically, I've been kind of a passive observer, but I've always liked what I've seen. I could name a few wrestlers. I could name some key matches. I knew basic storylines. But this is the first time I've taken the full plunge.

So, I could have taken my copy of WWE 2k14 off the shelf and gone through it for the first time. Instead, I pulled out a trashy exploitation game from the era of video games where that was more okay. The Attitude Era of video games, if you will. Let's drive on down to Suplex City, because it's time for Rumble Roses.

Sonic Jam - "Knuckles Chaotix"

Remember that 2005 show with Britney Spears and Kevin Federline? Britney and Kevin: Chaotic? It was pretty awful, right? A star whose relevance was growing more and more questionable by the day, teaming up with an entirely irrelevant joke of a person, for a thoroughly depressing experience on a TV station that nobody watched. It was a bad time, and one of many signals that Brit's reign as a pop star was in a fiery tailspin.

Knuckles Chaotix, a similarly-titled entry in the Sonic series that came out exactly one decade prior, is pretty much the same thing. Except instead of Kevin Federline and UPN, it's "garbage animal sidekicks" and the Sega 32X.

Going Legit

So I have some cool news.