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Showing posts from February, 2016

Sonic Jam - "Sonic Spinball" (1993)

Less than a month before I was born, a game with one simple concept was pushed out onto the Sega Genesis. That idea?

"What if Sonic were a pinball? Like, Casino Night Zone, but a whole game?"

It's about as good as that idea sounds.

Review - "Layers of Fear"

Around two years ago, I went to Universal Studios Orlando for their annual Halloween festivities. After a day of riding coasters and other attractions, I decided it was a great idea to do every haunted house in one go. It wasn't. By the time I got to the end of them all, I knew that I was supposed to be scared, and could see the clear effort being made to scare me, but it was for naught. None of the tricks worked, outside of an occasional jump scare. My friends and I joked that we had "fear fatigue."
If you want to experience fear fatigue, you don't have to shell out the big bucks for an expensive vacation to an overpriced theme park. You can get the same feeling with 20 bucks and a little over three hours of your time, thanks to Layers of Fear.

Review - "Zoolander 2"

Is there more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?
For starters, how about being in a movie that isn't a festering shitpile?

Review - "Unravel"

Is a game best known for its awkward E3 presentation worth getting wrapped up in? Or is it just another puzzle-platformer in a market full of them?

Hey There, Delilah: Finding Closure in "Firewatch"

Spoilers for Firewatch are in this post. You've been warned.

When I was around 16, I fell in love with somebody. Harder than I thought I ever could, actually. To this day, in fact, there's a little piece of myself that's with the girl I fell for, and I doubt I'll ever get it back. I know, this is an uncomfortable way for a write-up on a video game to start. I know, that's more than a little pathetic. And, yes, I know, airing dirty laundry on the internet is a pretty shitty thing to do, which is why, for the sake of this article, I'll leave this person unnamed.

Thing is, I only really knew this girl, intimately, for a span of a little over a week. It was at a summer acting program. We became fast friends. We sort of, maybe, kind of fell in love with each other. And that love, however misguided it might have been, lasted after the program ended. It lasted until I tried to put an end to it, because I was already in a relationship at the time, and this girl lived h…

Now Recording...

You know what's better than a white guy talking about geeky shit on the Internet?

A white guy talking about geeky shit in the Internet into a microphone.

Sonic Jam - "Sonic The Hedgehog" (aka Sonic SatAM)

In 1993, Sonic was at his first major peak of popularity. He was outselling Mario. He'd redefined the platforming genre. He served as the very embodiment of 90's x-treme 'tude. The little guy was riding high on success, and as with anything that's even remotely successful, Sonic-branded merchandise and spin-offs started piling up like useless side characters.

And as with most successful things geared towards kids, Sonic got a cartoon series. Actually, he got two cartoon series, marking the start of what would end up being a particularly lucrative bunch of adaptations. One of them was complete and utter gutter trash that I loved when I was seven.

The other is one of the actual best pieces of Western television animation that was put out in the 90's. Let's talk about that one first, huh?

Review - "Mario & Luigi: Paper Jam"

The Paper Mario series really hasn't seen much love overall, has it? Comparatively speaking, it has some of the least entries in terms of Mario sub-series, and only two of those are really even stylistically similar. After a couple of turn-based RPG outings, the series was overhauled in the platforming-hybrid Super Paper Mario, taking the stylistic elements and stripping away literally everything else. Also, Sticker Star happened, and honestly, that's one crumbled-up scrap of paper that belongs in the trash can of gaming history.

That being said, it makes sense for Nintendo to take their most successful Mario-based role-playing franchise and crash it into the cult-hit series. They're both RPGs. They both have Mario. They're both funny. But does this idea work, or is it something that only sounds good on paper?