Skip to main content

A Few Words on Sonic Jam (And Some Other Stuff)


A few months back, I announced a new series for The Fried Critic after finishing my two years of Summer of Schwarzenegger posts.

But before I get started in January I figured, hey, why not actually talk about what to expect?

This Isn't A "Sonic's Always Sucked" Series


"Sonic was never that good." "Sonic's always been dumb." "Sonic will suck forever and always, amen."

I've seen a lot of articles in that vein in recent years, and they're kind of dumb. Sure, Sonic's had a rough go of it in the past few years, but we're talking about 3-4 years of a 25 year-old series. That's not ideal, no. Sure, there were some stumbles before that, too. But has the franchise always been bad? Nope, not even close. That's Bubsy you're thinking of. Although that last one was a bloody masterpiece.

But I digress. Sonic, as a series, has had ups and downs. However, I feel that, in general, there's more good than bad in the series, or, for the pessimists out there, more mediocre than outright terrible. I'd even go so far to say that, in general, Sonic's series is a pretty good one. I know, I know, radical opinion to have, there.

Anyway. Those looking for yet another internet outlet to trash-talk the Blue Blur will have to look elsewhere. Well. I mean. You can trash talk him in the comments, I guess. I just won't be joining you. Unless we're talking about Sonic Heroes or that Black Knight heap. Then I'll trash talk all day, because, really, who in their right mind liked those games?

Moving on.


Yes, I'm Really Playing Every Sonic Game... Sort Of


This is no half-measure, folks. I've been planning this for months now and to celebrate Sonic hitting the big 2-5, I'm playing through every Sonic game out there for your reading pleasure. Well. Most of them.

See, there are some games that I really feel don't add anything to the series. Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine? The Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing series? Good games, sure, but they're more spin-offs than anything. Sure, there'll be some spin-offs I'll go through. Sonic Shuffle, for instance, because I hate myself. The Game Gear Sonic games, because I really hate myself. But some of the more minor ones are going to be left out, and some will be combined into one post. Like, do I really need to write a separate entry for each Master System Sonic game? I don't think so, and I don't think anybody really fucking cares.

So, yes, with some exceptions, I'm really going to play through every Sonic game this year and write about them, because life is already suffering, so why not add a heaping helping of Sonic Labyrinth on top of it?


No, It Won't Just Be The Games


Sonic's a lot more than a video game star. Let's not forget that he's the star of what is undoubtedly one of the most unlikely comic book success stories of the modern age. Or the lead in six separate animated adaptations. The little dude's been around, and that's part of what's made him such an enduring mascot.

Which is why there'll be write-ups of anything and everything Sonic-related. From attempts to cut into the dense, convoluted lore of the Archie Comics to the strange involvement of Michael Jackson in the franchise, this series will be a non-stop bombardment of the Blue Blur and his impact on popular culture, served up with a nice helping sarcastic cynicism.

And yeah, that means I'll be watching Sonic Underground.

God help us all.


It'll All Wrap Up In December


This isn't a month-long or few month-long sort of thing, guys. I'll be writing about Sonic all year. Because, let's face it, nobody else is, since there's another, more popular franchise celebrating a huge anniversary this year. You know. The one about the kid with the pointy ears and green skirt.

Jokes aside, Sonic is a franchise that means a ton to me, personally, and I doubt many people are going to give it the love it deserves for its 25th anniversary. That's the core reason I'm doing this to myself and dragging you along for the ride, if you so choose.

It all kicks off today, where I'll go back to where it all began: Sonic the Hedgehog for the Sega Genesis, often considered one of the greatest titles in gaming history. I'll be taking a look at why it's considered such an enduring game, what makes it work, the impact it had on the industry... all that fun, pretentious stuff, Come for the retrospective pieces on classics, stay for the sarcastic vitriol thrown at garbage disposal units like Heroes and Labyrinth, in other words.

Of Course, I'll Still Be Doing Other Stuff


It's going to be a wild year for The Fried Critic.

I'll be doing a lot of other stuff, from more regular updates to a wider diversity of stuff that I review. Not only that, but starting in February, I'll be rolling out gaming-related video content that isn't just me ranting at a camera for five-minute increments. Like, you know. With actual capture cards and a good mic and all that good stuff. More on that in the coming weeks, though...

Thanks for all the support, even in the months where I pretty much just post reviews. Looking at the traffic here, I get visitors from all over. America, Russia, Australia. Even The Philippines. The fact that somebody in the fucking Philippines would give a fuck about anything I have to say about anything is deeply humbling, and means more to me than any monetary gain I'll ever get from this site.

Going into the third full year for The Fried Critic, I'm hyped beyond belief for what I have in store for you. When you see it, I think you will be too.

Oh, and if you're wondering what the deal was with all the pictures in this post? They're all fucking garbage games that you get to watch me suffer through.

Let the good (?) times... roll.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Yellow Snow: "Frozen" and the Cult of Elsanna

Anybody who's read my top picks for the best movies of last year knows that I have very strong feelings about Frozen, a frankly epic masterpiece of animated cinema, if not cinema in general. It rights a lot of wrongs that Disney films have historically perpetrated, from featuring two female characters that aren't defined by men, to sending an ultimately positive message to both children and adults. If you haven't seen it, I encourage you to stop reading this and go shell out your money for a ticket. Hell, maybe even two, as I've already seen the damn thing three times, and will probably see it once or twice more for the fuck of it. It's okay, I can wait.
But on a serious note, a disturbing trend has been occurring, as brought to my attention by a wonderful yet disheartening news post on Nerve. It's become quite popular, it seems, to pair up the two main sisters, two of the strongest female protagonists in recent films, and put them together in an incestuous le…

Fried Take - "Sadako 3D 2" (2013)

The Ring franchise is easily one of my favorites out there, and its terrifying antagonist Sadako is a movie monster that I just can't help but love. Even being a fan of the series and its lore, though, couldn't make me forgive some egregious mistakes made my 2012's Sadako 3D. It was a clunky, gimmicky and all-around uninspired mess of a movie that broke canon and turned into pure schlock halfway through, despite a strong concept and some solid acting. So it would make sense, then, that I didn't have much hope for the sequel, which changed up the screenwriters but kept the same continuity and director, and seemed to focus more on grandiose scares than the low-key chills of older entries.

Being a huge fan, though, I felt obligated to at least give this one a try. Maybe it could wash the bad taste of forced 3D gimmicks and moronic sub-plots out. Or perhaps it would further ruin this once-great franchise, and be a moronic waste of my time. Read on to find out my thoughts …

My Top 12 Games of 2017

This year has been peak video gaming, right? Like, it's crazy how good everything got all of a sudden. This generation went from middling to one of the best in recent memory in the span of twelve months, at least to me. Sure, that's not to say the industry hasn't been up to its usual garbage, arguably more so than usual - to the point where games might get taken to court again. Crazy.

Anyway. I've found my tastes changing a lot this year, especially after I quit professional games writing for the time being, and I've been reevaluating what "good" or "bad" games are to me. That's partially what inspired my recent list of personal all-time greats. With that in mind, take this list as a representation of my newfound tastes, and a harbinger of what you'll see me talking about going forward.

Let's kick things off with some honorable mentions.



Honorable Mentions and Junk, In No Order


Quake Champions

Quake Champions is the arena shooter that L…