Posts

Showing posts from July, 2015

Review - "Pixels"

Image
As a person who plays video games, I did my civic duty and saw Pixels today, then formed an opinion on it. Here's that opinion.

Review - "Ant-Man"

Image
So, in 2015, this is where we're at. Seven years after Iron Man burst onto the scene and made Marvel more of a household name, the Marvel Cinematic Universe is still seemingly allergic to having a movie led by a woman or a guy who isn't white. And yes, before you angrily shout, "but Black Panther and Captain Marvel are getting movies," I know they are... in a few years.

But still. It's a bit disappointing to see that Disney is so adverse to having a woman or non-white actor be a lead that they're resorting to giving Ant-Man, of all characters, his own movie. Ant-Man. As in, a man who dresses like an ant. Fantastic.

Good thing, then, that the movie itself isn't half-bad.

Going Turbo: A Love Letter To Max Steel

Image
Max Steel was probably my favorite thing in existence when I was a little kid. Something about a youthful, superficially attractive white guy who just so happened to be an extreme sports star and secret agent just spoke to me, for some reason. I think it did for a lot of kids, actually. It was one of the hottest toy brands of the late 90's up through the early 2000's. There were countless variant toys, a long-running animated series, a DreamCast game, Halloween costumes and... a Carl Jr.'s cross-promotion.

Of course, they tried to get a movie off the ground, and it's been in development hell for years. So much so, in fact, that the movie is no longer trying to adapt the old toys, and instead, capitalizing on the atrocity that is the current reboot of the franchise. Oh well. Times change, I guess. I'll still go see it for old times' sake. Only... will I? Because right now, I'm not so sure that it's even happening.

But what is Max Steel, and why should yo…

It's Time To Stop Complaining

Image
The recent internet drama over Metroid Prime: Federation Force has really been bothering me. It's a game that doesn't interest me, sure, but that's about as much as I'll say. Nobody's forcing me to buy it. Nintendo isn't holding an Arm Cannon to my temple and making me break out the MasterCard for their new spin-off. I'm marginally disappointed that we aren't getting a proper Metroid game, yeah, but we got one like... what. Five-ish years ago? And that was pretty good. Yeah, I said Other M is pretty good. Fight me.

And see, that's sort of my point. The furor over Other M, which, at worst, is an okay game, is the same type of behavior I'm concerned about. I see it all over the internet, usually pertaining to "nerdy" interests, and I think it's time we started thinking about it critically. Because for years, I've been guilty of it. Until today. Well, okay. Maybe not. But let's talk about it anyway.

Summer of Schwarzenegger - "Batman & Robin" (1997)

Image
(Yeah, I'm aware that Summer of Schwarzenegger's schedule got royally screwed up, but it'll be done this month. Thanks for reading, guys, I'm glad people seem to be enjoying these again!)

"Hey, I'm a guy on the internet who complains about movies, and here's my hot top 10 list of reasons why Batman & Robin really is that bad! Yes, this write-up is totally different than all the other write-ups out there, but when you're done,  you won't believe that this movie even got made!"

Sorry to disappoint but, uh, this isn't that. I actually don't hate this movie.

Backlogged - "Titanfall"

Image
(Backlogged is where I dig into my gaming, TV and movie pile of shame, then write about it!)

Last year, Titanfall launched, and the entire internet couldn't shut up about it. The hype train was ridiculous. Even people I know who don't care about video games were talking about it. It was some of the loudest, most obnoxious artificial hype I'd seen for a game... until Destiny came out. Man. Sometimes I remember Destiny is a real game that I paid sixty dollars for, then just get really sad. But I digress.

So, Titanfall came out, then nobody really cared about a week later. Naturally, over a year after launch, I decided now was the perfect time to hop into the multiplayer-intensive game!

Review - "Terminator Genisys"

Image
There's been a boom of nostalgia-driven cashgrabs coming out of the entertainment industry recently. Most of these resurrect old intellectual properties that people grew up with in the 90's, with the sole intention of triggering that elusive feeling of wistful recollection among consumers. Perhaps the biggest one of the summer, thus far, is Jurassic World, which spent so much time cynically pandering to kids who grew up with the original that it forgot to actually be a good movie in its own right.

Terminator Genisys, the fifth entry in the overall series, manages to show moviegoers how a movie built on fond memories of past entries can be done right. Because, first and foremost, it's actually a good movie.

Catching Up With Dragon Ball

Image
So, hell froze over and Akira Toriyama is cranking out Dragon Ball again. Barring the reveal that this was all just a giant practical joke, Dragon Ball Super is airing in a week (July 5), and America is getting the Resurrection F movie in August. Crazy, right?

A lot people are excited about this, especially people who grew up with the series. Thing is, a lot of those people haven't seen Dragon Ball in a while, so they may go in a little confused. Not anymore! Here are some handy things to know about the state of the franchise so you can be ready and get hyped. I know I am.

Review - "J-Stars Victory Vs+"

Image
Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. series is held as the standard for gaming crossovers, but it's never quite gone far enough with their fan service for my tastes. The focus is primarily on making an accessible game, one that has a more or less familiar roster, all of whom have movesets that are pretty self-explanatory and not necessarily steeped in their respective series. Giving oblique, obscure shoutouts to each series the character hails from takes a back seat to making the game fun for everyone. Which is fine, of course. That's a smart call, and part of the reason the games sell so well.

But J-Stars Victory Vs+ takes the polar opposite approach. In fact, most of the enjoyment of Bandai-Namco's game hinges upon whether or not a player has an intimate knowledge of the characters. If not, well, this isn't the game for them. But as for the rest of us?

Summer of Schwarzenegger - "Jingle All The Way" (1996)

Image
So, I know this movie has a special place in a lot of peoples' hearts, so even if I disagree with positive opinions of it, I'm going to be respectful. I understand that, ultimately, I shouldn't be so hard on a Christmas movie that's aimed at kids, and that maybe I'm just a bit too cynical for something like this. If you like this movie, good on you! Let's agree to disagree.

Nah, just kidding. This movie is about as fun as a root canal on Christmas Eve.