Skip to main content

So, What's The Deal With Summer of Schwarzenegger?

So there's a thing I'm doing this summer, and I announced it for the first time back in January. With those three months of heat and humidity almost here, and me being far too lame to attend E3, Comic-Con, or Anime Expo, it's high time that I explain just what the hell Summer of Schwarzenegger even is. Also, how it's going to go down, why I'm doing it, and... other things.

So What Is This Anyway?

Basically, I'm going to try and watch pretty much the entirety of the former Governator's oeuvre this summer, writing a blog post for every single one. I'll be doing it in the order they came out, starting with Hercules in New York, then ending with my impressions of The Expendables 3, which will bring an end to the trilogy of unbridled, hilarious, stupid machismo festivals. This doesn't include cameos or minor supporting roles, though, so no Around the World in 80 Days or Dave, because that's a lot of wading through a whole other movie a minute or two of Ah-Nuld.

Why Are You Going Through This, Thought?

Basically? It's to celebrate Schwarzenegger's return to film, and because without something to do other than game and catch up on anime of the summer, I get really bored. Sue me.

What What Are The Posts Going to Be Like?

These aren't going to be my traditional reviews, because if I were to review these movies seriously, most of them would get a failing grade. So instead, I'm going to focus on more free-style writing, talk about how natural or outlandishly stupid Arnold's role is, and talk more about the overall enjoyment factor versus quality. Let's face it, Collateral Damage is a fucking bad movie by many standards, but it's a damn fun one to watch.

So, Is This All You'll Be Doing, Or...?

No, not by a long shot. I'll be doing so much more stuff than just talking about Arnold flicks, just to keep things interested. Sure, the feed will be blown up with testosterone-laden goodness, but I'll keep doing reviews, editorials, and other things to keep all audiences satiated. Because I'm actually starting to have an audience now. Crazy, right?

When Does This All Start? 

This will start June 1st, and go to August 15th, at which point I'll be going to see The Expendables 3, then write about it, hopefully. And with how fantastic the second one was, I have high hopes. Anyway, I hope this explains what the hell I'll be doing with this blog over the summer, and I hope you guys enjoy!


Popular posts from this blog

Yellow Snow: "Frozen" and the Cult of Elsanna

Anybody who's read my top picks for the best movies of last year knows that I have very strong feelings about Frozen, a frankly epic masterpiece of animated cinema, if not cinema in general. It rights a lot of wrongs that Disney films have historically perpetrated, from featuring two female characters that aren't defined by men, to sending an ultimately positive message to both children and adults. If you haven't seen it, I encourage you to stop reading this and go shell out your money for a ticket. Hell, maybe even two, as I've already seen the damn thing three times, and will probably see it once or twice more for the fuck of it. It's okay, I can wait.
But on a serious note, a disturbing trend has been occurring, as brought to my attention by a wonderful yet disheartening news post on Nerve. It's become quite popular, it seems, to pair up the two main sisters, two of the strongest female protagonists in recent films, and put them together in an incestuous le…

Fried Take - "Sadako 3D 2" (2013)

The Ring franchise is easily one of my favorites out there, and its terrifying antagonist Sadako is a movie monster that I just can't help but love. Even being a fan of the series and its lore, though, couldn't make me forgive some egregious mistakes made my 2012's Sadako 3D. It was a clunky, gimmicky and all-around uninspired mess of a movie that broke canon and turned into pure schlock halfway through, despite a strong concept and some solid acting. So it would make sense, then, that I didn't have much hope for the sequel, which changed up the screenwriters but kept the same continuity and director, and seemed to focus more on grandiose scares than the low-key chills of older entries.

Being a huge fan, though, I felt obligated to at least give this one a try. Maybe it could wash the bad taste of forced 3D gimmicks and moronic sub-plots out. Or perhaps it would further ruin this once-great franchise, and be a moronic waste of my time. Read on to find out my thoughts …

My Top 12 Games of 2017

This year has been peak video gaming, right? Like, it's crazy how good everything got all of a sudden. This generation went from middling to one of the best in recent memory in the span of twelve months, at least to me. Sure, that's not to say the industry hasn't been up to its usual garbage, arguably more so than usual - to the point where games might get taken to court again. Crazy.

Anyway. I've found my tastes changing a lot this year, especially after I quit professional games writing for the time being, and I've been reevaluating what "good" or "bad" games are to me. That's partially what inspired my recent list of personal all-time greats. With that in mind, take this list as a representation of my newfound tastes, and a harbinger of what you'll see me talking about going forward.

Let's kick things off with some honorable mentions.

Honorable Mentions and Junk, In No Order

Quake Champions

Quake Champions is the arena shooter that L…